Love, Laughter, and Relationship Rules: A Hilarious Guide to Navigating the Modern Dating Scene
Hellur, you adorable earthly sinners! Madea's voice It's been a hot minute since my last blog, but after receiving tons of emails and tweets asking me to come back and run things, here I am! And guess what? Today's post is gonna be way off my usual fashion topics. As the title suggests, we're diving deep into the treacherous waters of relationships! Buckle up, folks, 'cause it's gonna be a wild ride.
Now, before we get into it, let me drop a disclaimer: never take my relationship advice too seriously. Why? 'Cause, sweetie, I never do relationships! Call me a baby, but the main reason is that I got my heart broken back in grade 5. Yeah, you heard that right, grade 5! And ever since that era, people who know me have been slapping all sorts of rude, ego-caressing names on me like "fuck boy" and "man whore." Christ, I don't even know where I'm going with this! Anyhoo, let's get back to matters of the heart in 0………1..........2...…. (I'm just messing with you, let's dive in).
Love, folks, love is a tricky and confusing thing for many under the sun. To some, love is a mirage of happiness, fairy tales, and happily ever afters, all thanks to Titanic and Tele Undo. But here's the thing, many people may be in a relationship but never truly experience what true love really is. Yet, every new relationship, fling, or infatuation has the potential to blossom into something spectacular and wonderful. But hold up, before you go chasing after that romantic dream, let me tell you, love has rules! Yeah, it's like algebra, and we all find ourselves following those stupid relationship rules. I wonder who came up with them in the first place. I hope it's not Adam or Eve, 'cause, seriously, Eve sought attention from a freaking snake! A freaking snake, bruh! SMH!
Alright, let's talk about those relationship rules that can transform any drifting relationship into something magical, whether it's a lovey-dovey thing, a friends-with-benefits situation, or just casual fun. And believe me, these rules may seem trivial, but they demand effort and dedication. But here's the kicker, dating has changed, my friends, and not necessarily for the better. Social media has messed things up! People are compassionate towards friends and followers, but what about their significant others? Not so much. It's either a game or a race to the finish line. Where's the middle ground, people?
Honestly, if I were to date, I'd go old school. Back in the day, you had some privacy, and nobody knew your business unless you explicitly spilled the beans. There were no profiles to nitpick and scrutinize until everything collapsed with a "See you around" text. People cared more about each other's feelings back then.
Now, let's drop some relationship do's and don'ts! Brace yourselves, folks!
DO's:
Communicate with each other and grow together in love. Don't let lack of communication drive you apart, seriously!
Give each other space to become better individuals. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
Never take each other for granted. It's a surefire way to invite affairs and arguments to your little love party.
Hey, a little white lie sometimes won't hurt, especially if it brings a smile to your partner's face. Just don't go all Pinocchio on them!
Keep things spicy and look sexy for each other. Don't let your relationship turn into a fashion disaster!
Compliments, people! Compliments are like a sprinkle of magic. Sprinkle them generously and see the sparks fly.
Crushes happen, and that's okay. Accept it, deal with it, and move on.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. Learn from your own journey, not someone else's.
End an argument as soon as possible. Hug it out, folks, hug it out!
And most importantly (wait, did I just read that right?), well, make sure to keep the fire burning and enjoy some intimate moments together. Yeah, let's say it's an apology for World War 2!
Now, let's slide into the DON'Ts:
Ladies, for the love of God, stop labeling everything! Not every guy wants to ride off into the sunset with you.
Don't play fortune-teller and doom your relationship with negative predictions. Catch your partner being good instead!
Mind-reading is a no-go. Ask your partner instead of assuming their thoughts.
Shoulds, shoulds, shoulds. Drop those unrealistic relationship commandments. Let's replace them with "how to" and "let's try"!
Perfectionism is a joy-killer. No relationship needs to be perfect. Embrace the beautiful imperfections, folks!
Alright, folks, there you have it. Relationship advice served with a dash of humor and a sprinkle of sass. Remember, love can be a rollercoaster, but it's also the sweetest adventure you'll ever ride! Keep it real, keep it fun, and keep those hearts fluttering! Happy dating, you adorable sinners! Madea's voice
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